Tapas

Nicolai Bachman says: “Make a Change. / Feel the heat of resistance / Melt away old habits / and burn through the ruinous conditioning. / Offer negative behavior / into the fire of tapas / and chart your course toward freedom.”

Yeah. That’s about right. Tapas anyone?

No, not the food. As much as I would love to invite you all to my favorite Tapas restaurant here in Pawleys Island, Nosh, this is not about food. It’s about change.

Our life is transient. Our decisions are impermanent. The temperature of our attitude changes with wind, so change is something we need to grow accustomed to, like it or not. Let’s get into what change means, what happens, and how we grow from it.

When change occurs, there is a negative action, habit or event that evolves into a permanent one. This evolution literally creates friction in our lives. This evolution is uncomfortable, we resist it, get angry about it, refuse it, deny it, basically put a lot of energy into not going with the flow. Well, Newton, this amazingly brainy physicist, basically said something along the lines of “attention goes where energy flows”. Welcome to the life of Negative Nancy. When we put so much effort into resisting change we create heat. That heat can be expelled in anger, depression, violence, unhappiness and anything that can equate to a “piss ant”. What a waste of energy! Let me bottle that up and save it for another day and save some poor person from interacting with me while in “piss ant mood”.

Sometimes the evolution of change is very quick! For instance, when you work out on the treadmill for 60 minutes you create heat in your physical body which then burns calories. Internally the body temperature rises and something sets off those feel good enzymes and we have a work out high, and this starts within 15 minutes of our workout. Change for the better! Not so painless, but not welcomed, lovingly, with open arms, to some (now hot yoga, different story!).

Sometimes the change is as slow as a snail. Education can be very slow. Break ups can be very slow (or they can be like quick bandaids.) Career moves can be long and drawn out. I would venture to say the longer and drawn out the change is, the more profound the benefit is, but that is my hypothesis. Slow change usually takes more commitment and determination, it’s an idea or goal that your mind is set to in order to accomplish it. The ark was not built over night, remember that.

The best thing to remember about this tapas and friction of change is that if it didn’t need to happen, it wouldn’t have been instigated. Healthy change correlates with progress and personal development. It’s a fact of life, it’s science. Things change! But the adapting to the change is the hardest part.

Here are some tips to deal with change:

Breathe! “Okay Chrissie, I know how to breathe, I don’t even have to think about it” Listen here, take multiple deep sighs every hour. We are so wrapped up in every day garbage we don’t give our bodies enough oxygen. Your brain needs it, your heart loves it and your muscles would be weak without it. GET MORE OXYGEN!

Stay in the moment! Don’t look to next month and say things will change, don’t wish your life away and try not to regret whatever it was that got you here and now. Though you may feel like that, mentally apologize to yourself for thinking that way. You are right where you need to be.

Think about it! I won’t say “meditate” because I am the worst at that, but give yourself some quiet time to reflect on how you got here and how this might help you in the long run. If you meditate, do that. If you pray, do that too. If you don’t have a practice, just think. Maybe you can travel a little more, maybe get some education, maybe this is the perfect excuse to dye your hair pink and join the circus. Whatever it is, reflect on how to make things better because they won’t be bad forever.

Be happy! If you don’t do anything else, just be happy! Happiness is a choice. No one can take it, the weather can’t change it and it’s yours to keep! Keep a positive attitude and truck on! Welcome the change, embrace it, cook it home made brownies. When it’s all said and done, you will thank this opportunity to become a better person and maybe even hope that something rocks your world again to promote extreme change.

You got this. I promise. You won’t break, you’ll just be a little more bendy.